NOTICES IN ENGLISH FOR TRAVELLERS AND HOLIDAY MAKERS

We take your bags and send them in all directions. (Danish airlines)

Please, leave your values at the front desk. (French hotel reception)

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. (Bucharest hotel)

If set breaks, inform manager. Do not interfere with yourself. (TV, Belgrade hotel)

It is forbitten to steal hotel towels, please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. (Tokyo hotel)

It is our intention to pleasure you every day. (Hamburg hotel)

It is defended to promenade the corridors in the boots of the mountain in front of six hours. (Swiss hotel)

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily. (Athens hotel)

The manager has personally passed all the water server here. (Acapulco hotel)

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. (Japanese hotel)

If you cannot reach a fire exit, close the door and expose yourself at the window. (Finnish hotel)

Our wine list leaves you nothing to hope for.  (Madrid restaurant)

Customers who find our waitress rude ought to see the manager. (Nairobi restaurant)

If you are satisfactory, tell your friends. If you are unsatisfactory, warn the waitress. (Bulgarian restaurant)

After one visit we guarantee you will be regular. (Italian restaurant)

Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband or similar. (Cairo restaurant)

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. (Norwegian bar)

Ramganga River is inhabited by crocodiles. Swimming is prohibited. Survivors will be prosecuted. (Indian National Park)

It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. (Black Forest camping site)                 

    From Charlie Croker (2006) Lost in Translation. Michael O’Mara Books